5 Tools for a Healthy Sex Life in Your 40s

by kellylavieri on September 23, 2015

Kelly Lavieri_5 Tools for a Healthy Sex Life in Your 40s

Sex is good for your health. Sex gets your blood pumping, stimulates your immune system, lowers blood pressure and heart attack risk, improves sleep, lowers your overall stress level, and is a great workout to boot! On top of all that, sex and intimacy are important elements of any healthy relationship. Here are 5 tools for maintaining your sex life in your 40s.

Get a Hormone Workup
Both estrogen and testosterone levels drop in your 40s, and lower levels of these can negatively impact your libido. Check your medications for hormonal side effects, get a full panel blood test to make sure your hormone levels are where they should be, and talk to your doctor about your options if your levels are off. Since estrogen is responsible for vaginal moisture and elasticity, your dropping levels may mean that you’ve avoided sex because of painful dryness. A call to your gynecologist will yield some options for combating the dryness. Additionally, dopamine—a happiness chemical that is key for a healthy sex drive—quiets down once you’re in a stable, predictable relationship. If you’re partnered and have been for a while, keep things exciting and novel by experimenting—inside and outside the bedroom! Think vacations, trying brand new restaurants, and roller coaster rides.

Date Your Partner
Going on regular dates helps you and your partner maintain intimacy and connection, two essential ingredients for an active, enjoyable sex life. Do something you both enjoy or take turns planning a date night that the other person will enjoy. If you choose a movie, concert, or something else involving your undivided attention, make sure to go out to dinner beforehand or dessert after so that you have time to talk and strengthen your bond. Aim for once a week—even more often if you can!

Do It Anyway
There are a million reasons not to have sex—you’re tired, the dog ate your couch cushions, the kids’ lunches need to be packed, there are ten loads of laundry to do—but at least twice a week, just do it anyway! If you don’t make time for sex, especially as a 40-something woman with an endless to do list, it won’t happen! Simple as that.

Make Time For Joy
It’s important to schedule in joyful, energy-building activities for yourself as well as for you and your partner. Since women in their 40s are typically juggling a career, family, social life, changing health, an exercise routine—or some combination of these—the calendar tends to fill quickly with “have to do” items. Setting aside time to do what makes you happy will boost your sex drive by helping you relax, but more importantly it will ensure that your life isn’t an endless string of days stuffed full of work and daily tasks.

Be the Spark
Many women wish their partner were more romantic, spontaneous, caring, fun, or any other number of qualities in the bedroom. Instead of wistfully wishing for a return to the honeymoon period while begrudgingly submitting to the same-old, same-old in the sack, be the impulsive one! Offer your partner everything you wish he or she would offer you in the bedroom. You’ll set a great example that your partner will appreciate and get on board with.

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